Archive for the ‘It’s all so Deep - Mind and Spirit’ Category

The Girl at the Bridge

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

My parents and relatives all lived in the Valley of the Leven when I was a child and I was born in Dumbarton. My family emigrated and I’ve been back a couple of times. When I visited there six years ago I was told a ghost story. Here it is. I would love to hear from anyone who can add details or correct any mistakes I have made in telling it. This is how I recall it. I’ll have to invent the names.

One afternoon Jean was walking home from school across the bridge at the Renton when she saw a schoolmate leaning over the railing of the bridge and gazing into the water. The schoolmate looked very sad and said to Jean, ‘Will you stay with me a while. I have to go soon.’ Jean said, ‘Sorry Margaret, I’ll get in trouble from my mother if I’m late. Bye bye.’  Margaret said nothing but just stayed there, looking over the railing to the water below. That evening Jean mentioned to her mother about meeting Margaret. The next day they learned that Margaret had died on the morning of the day Jean saw her.

It’s a simple little story, not sensationalised. My parents had never heard it till I told it to them so no one has created a sensation of it. That adds to its authenticity. False stories usually have fantastic elements in them and someone spreads them around to bask in the excitement.

Stories like this are told all over the world. I think there must be a reality behind them all, there are so many. Do you know any of these simple little stories? Please don’t make one up. Let us be truth seekers together.

 

Obsessive Eating

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

My eating patterns went crazy at the end of last year. I craved cold sweet drinks and went through phases of being addicted to different ones and drinking stupid quantities of them. I just thought it was to do with being in China and missing Western foods. When I went home for a month I did a progress through a lot of my old favourite foods and drinks, and I loved it. But when I came back to China the problem continued and I didn’t have the will to stop. After that my ongoing heart condition began to move into crisis. Then my breathing became so bad I had to climb to my apartment one flight of stairs at a time, then rest, etc.

I went to see an aged Chinese doctor and took my ECG readouts from the past. He told me that my heart had become much worse and gave me a Chinese medicine and told me not to have any chocolate (!!!!!), coffee (!!!!) or sweet drinks (!!!). I was to have no red meat and almost no white meat. I was not to drink milk.

As I guessed I was very close to dying (previous experiences of crisis and going into intensive care units told me that) I gave up all my bad habits immediately. It’s a great motivator. I lost eight kilos in a few weeks and haven’t touched chocolate or coffee since.

The medicine the doctor gave me cleansed my body and I self-medicated to control the heart and the fluid in my lungs. After a while getting the doses right I was ok and have been really healthy for a couple of months now. I haven’t gone back to my bad habits since.

For me, the real question is, why did I suddenly have such crazy eating patterns, a sort of suicide attempt through eating. I have diabetes and a heart problem! Why did I flirt with death? What was my unconscious trying to teach me?

 

I Take Your Pain

Monday, June 25th, 2007

Perhaps this is my best poem. I regard it as spiritually inspired and I hope it helps you if you need it. That’s what it was given for. The copyright is mine only so I can prevent anyone using it to make money. If you want to share its healing power with others do it but if you try to make it a way to get money I’ll stop you gaining from it. Some things are too precious to be used that way. Now read it if you are in pain and see and feel the images in your mind and feel the healing.

I TAKE YOUR PAIN: A MEDITATION

I take your pain from my heart,

gently set it upon a broad leaf

smooth on tranquil water.

I watch the leaf float free

on mirrors,

drifting a tunnel of dark branches

and bright green leaves.

I pour your tears

into my cupped hands,

precious liquid gems (your adornment).

I kneel until the water

meets water and your tears

follow the River’s course

to join the encircling sea.

Why do so Many Families Fight in the Midst of Their Grief?

Monday, June 25th, 2007

Why do so many families fight in the midst of their grief? Why do so many families direct so much anger at one another when a member dies? It seems to me that when a member of a family is dying that is just the time when old hurts should be put aside so love has a chance to break through and triumph. Life is difficult and we are a weak minded species that is always finding reasons to squabble and fight. The myth of family is just that. In reality being in families is a troubled experience for most of it. We have a rhetoric that keeps us in there but occasionally we want to just walk out and not come back, thinking our relatives are really too much to bear. They think the same about us. My father died a few years ago. In my life there were times I was close to him and times we were almost estranged. He was over critical of me and I often felt he didn’t even value my abilities, but that is not the whole truth. I always knew he loved me in the best way he could. As he aged, the criticism became more intense and I distanced myself from him when I could. However, when he was dying I was able to go to his home and help care for him and during that time every hurt from the past lost its significance in the terrible event that was taking place. He had incurable cancer and nothing else mattered but to give my love to him in the time we had left. Since his death the past hurts have seemed far less important. They were resolved by the enormous understanding that someone I really loved was dying. I hope that all of you blogfriends will be able to experience the same if one of your most loved dies. It’s amazing how all the accumulated pain can dissolve away if you get a chance to say goodbye. If you get that chance just take it and experience the love flowing from your heart and cleaning it.

Who Am I?

Monday, June 25th, 2007

Who are we?

A lot as been written and said about the Self, that is, the true self. Who are we really? Is there a Higher Self, and if so, is it a part of us that is in some way superior to the Conscious Self, the bit that we operate through daily and think we understand? In fact many of our behaviours are governed by the Unconscious Self, which is the bit the Conscious Self doesn’t talk to. If I am not who I think I am who am I? Then of course we must consider the spiritual aspect. Does a part of us survive after death? If so, which bit? What do we call that bit? I like to call it the True Self. Where does it survive and does it resemble the Conscious Self at all? If it goes to Heaven what does it do there? If it comes back as another Conscious Self why does it come back? Can we really hope that some part of us can accumulate experience and learn not to commit the same mistakes over and over again so one day we can live a life when we can no longer carry around a load of regret about the things we did badly?

Do you think this is obscure religious BS? There are times in most people’s lives when they encounter circumstances that make them think of these questions. When a parent dies or succumbs to a degenerative brain disorder are such times. We ask, are they still there somewhere? Often people whose loved ones have Alzheimers or some other such difficulty say, she is not the same person. Alzheimers is progressive. At what point in time did they become a different person?

My mother had a stroke not long ago and much of her language was lost or became confused. When I returned to be with her I was very, very glad to find that my lovely mother was still there and able to show in many ways that she was still the same person. Are our bodies just a vehicle which we use for a while, carrying our True Self on the instructions of some wiser advisor to some destination that is undefinable?

I

I am many-chambered,

A Nautilus.

I hide behind, in, above,

Levels, aspects, angles

Of my personality,

Projecting my personae so I admit

It is hard to understand who I am.

Some say if I could rid myself

Of that stuff and why it is

I would then find myself,

The true I, the only thing left,

And know I am actually God.

I am a little bit worried

That after all that effort

All I would find is me,

That is,

I.

Such a small word.