Why do so many families fight in the midst of their grief? Why do so many families direct so much anger at one another when a member dies? It seems to me that when a member of a family is dying that is just the time when old hurts should be put aside so love has a chance to break through and triumph. Life is difficult and we are a weak minded species that is always finding reasons to squabble and fight. The myth of family is just that. In reality being in families is a troubled experience for most of it. We have a rhetoric that keeps us in there but occasionally we want to just walk out and not come back, thinking our relatives are really too much to bear. They think the same about us. My father died a few years ago. In my life there were times I was close to him and times we were almost estranged. He was over critical of me and I often felt he didn’t even value my abilities, but that is not the whole truth. I always knew he loved me in the best way he could. As he aged, the criticism became more intense and I distanced myself from him when I could. However, when he was dying I was able to go to his home and help care for him and during that time every hurt from the past lost its significance in the terrible event that was taking place. He had incurable cancer and nothing else mattered but to give my love to him in the time we had left. Since his death the past hurts have seemed far less important. They were resolved by the enormous understanding that someone I really loved was dying. I hope that all of you blogfriends will be able to experience the same if one of your most loved dies. It’s amazing how all the accumulated pain can dissolve away if you get a chance to say goodbye. If you get that chance just take it and experience the love flowing from your heart and cleaning it.